3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
