The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
