When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
