Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
