Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
