Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
