Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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