I have demons in me.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Randomize
