weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
