I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Randomize
