You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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