...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
