I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
My hand turned me down
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
