just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
