i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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