Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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