I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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