I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Randomize
