the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
This is the high leading the old right now
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
