it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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