please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
