I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
