After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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