Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
