how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
