come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Randomize
