You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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