yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
