i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
