I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
