4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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