Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Ketchup is God's man juice
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
