Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
