Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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