I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
