After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Acid is not a monday night drug
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
