im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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