Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
