Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
