I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
