Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
