can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
