this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
