Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
