low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
