kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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