He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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