Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
