Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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