That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize