Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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