Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
