Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
