your parents love me but you hate me
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
