every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
