Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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