i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
