He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
