Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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