The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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