He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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