New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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