I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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