i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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