I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
