its not stalking. its research.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
