We won't sleep together?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
